One Balanced Life

After a group tonight, where we talked about focusing our attention, I came home hoping to knock some items off my to-do list. Within seconds of sitting down to the computer the baby started to cry. Since the kids are in the same room now (YEAH), I swooped hoping to avoid a bigger calamity....that he would wake the toddler.  Enjoying the delicious feeling of snuggling with a sleepy still baby, my eyes kept wandering to the glow I could see from the kitchen....the computer. Reminded of my to-do list I thought how I can I get him back in there without a scene.....and then I paused...and thought what in the world am I doing!!!! I just spent an hour and half guiding other mothers on how to experience more peace and balance by being in the now. A little belatedly I stopped the madness and surrendered to moment. A moment I hope remains in memory for a long time. The weight on my chest, the soft breath.... Knowing that as he grows these moments of quiet cuddling will be few and far between,  I lingered and reluctantly put him down. I was reminded of a similar post I wrote when he was younger. Ahhh, learning to be in the moment does really take practice. And it can be so delightful to practice, especially in the quiet hours. I'm reminded of one of my favorite authors I've referenced here before who talks of how our internal agenda interferes with our ability to be in the moment with our children. We are often thinking of the future the past anything but what we are doing now. So stop, take a breath, and be where you are.

Speaking of watching what we say to ourselves - as the big brother helped put silverware away he shared this wonderful insight, "These are wasting time."  Meanwhile, as little brother fussed in the crib he commented, "The baby is going to put you right over the edge right into the basement." Where would he have gotten all that...Dad perhaps? Nothing like a child to encourage one to examine the words one chooses.

How could this guy ever put me over the edge?

P.S. I can't take credit for this one, which was taken by my amazing friend, who beautifully captures the moments. Contact me if you want her info. She is truly talented and I love her work. Actually I can't take credit for any of the pictures on this website, they are my father's, an economist, who after a lifetime in academia, found his creativity and I love it!

Between a toddler and a baby:

“I want to hit you with this hammer but I know I can’t”

Reminded me of how many things we want to do in our lives but feel like we shouldn’t. A few examples…eating cupcakes for lunch, letting the dirty clothes pile up to the point you need crampons to scale the mountains in your laundry room, reading blogs instead of doing bills, having one more cocktail, feigning illness to get out of work….I’m sure you can name a few in your own life. But here is the deal....don’t feel bad if you can’t show the restraint my two and a half year old did. If you are going to engage in your “should nots” do it intentionally and with abandon. I have no idea who originally said this but basically change your behavior if your guilt makes sense if it doesn’t let it go. Don’t waste energy on guilt, it isn’t worth it.

Now if you want to pummel your partner with a plastic hammer when they walk in the door that is a different story….