One Balanced Life

I've spent the last few days enjoying the moments - including my son's fifth birthday, the holiday, and completing my first triathlon! I've wanted to do one for a long time and finally put in on my birthday list in June. I somehow convinced my husband to do it with me and we did it!

A serious exercise in engaging the body, mind, and spirit - what great reminder of the different ways we can nurture the connection!

Usually the build up is worse and so the day flows. I know the body has memory and with it the remembering the tears will flow as well. With its rituals and gentle rhythm...purple and white flowers, birthday cake for a life not realized, sadness for a life lived that ended to soon. Today I honor my first born and my mother-in-law who died September 2nd 2004. Aiden Bennett and Pauline Julia Lamarche we know you are living and laughing in the stars together.

Tonight I feel fragmented. Competing demands of parenting, work, and close ones going through incredibly difficult times. And so I simply sit with the feeling...

"Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Last night my husband and I put the kids in the stroller for an evening stroll. Pre-kids we often walked in the evening and after they came the ritual slipped away. Last year it finally dawned on us that we could do their bedtime ritual on the go. So we strap them in with PJ's on, snack in hands, and a stack full of books - and as the light fades they have little headlamps. In the fall and winter they are bundled up in snowsuits and we pile the blankets on. The often fall asleep.

The new ritual feeds me deeply. We are able to walk around the lakes and by the creek near our house. We are able to move our bodies, be outdoors, and connect as a couple. Often the activities that really fuel us engage our minds, bodies, and spirit.

Reflect on what activities fuel you on multiple levels - perhaps yoga, expressing yourself through a creative activity, dance...

Sometimes it is just about slowing down to be grateful:

• The sense to know what I really needed wasn't early morning meditation but rather another hour of sleep.
• The faint whiff of the change of season in the morning breeze.
• A heart full of love when a little one groggy from sleep wants to "climb inside me" - and even better I was able to seize what is sure to be a fleeting moment instead of being annoyed.
• A tomato fresh off the vine may be the most delicious food ever.
  

If I could find the book right now I would share the exact quote but I can't so I will attempt to share the general idea as a newish mother/small business owner it  was a concept/thought/idea that became a driving force and mantra in my life and thank this amazing woman for sharing it with me...

That in every moment we have the opportunity to begin again.

I did not slow down this weekend at all and mostly spent the weekend "doing" and now I am exhausted. So much for mind body spirit connection.  But instead of feeling guilty...it is what it is and tonight I begin again with a good book and early bedtime.

A friend recently gave me a gallon of paint close to the color I was thinking of painting the dining room and I thought today is a perfect day to slap it on. I come from a long line of painters...my dad, my grandpa, and so on. I have painted every room in our house at least twice and sometimes more when I get a wild hair. I am pretty efficient but thought I'd see if I could coax my dad into helping (he is amazingly fast and accurate). As he ages I can tell is a little more hesitant to take on my projects (he has helped demo and remodel our basement, painted the kitchen twice, and the outside of the house...and those are a few). Thankfully he said yes! And in keeping with my theme of "connecting" I thought I'd multitask and not only paint (which I happen to think is a form of meditation) and just be present with him.

My dad was born on a farm without a doctor present. He didn't talk until he was three and ended up on a full-ride scholarship to Darthmouth. He took two pairs of pants and two white shirts and promptly came home after a semester - he didn't feel like he fit in. He has done just about everything from painting/construction work, greenhouse work, driving trucks, a college professor, and eventually the head of a union. He is frighteningly bright and has begun to express his creativity in recent years. I sometimes forget how amazing he is.

My dad has patiently taught me calculus, plant identification, sheetrocking, framing, how to build a what he calls an Indian fire (not a white man fire), how to "be" in nature, the difference in gauges for model railroads, his beliefs about marriage, and how to paint without needing to tape the room off. Today we talked about his dad - who at 17 in 1927 left the farm in Iowa to hitchhike to California to explore. These are some of my favorite stories - how my grandpa starting walking the dirt roads to explore the world. He went to CA and NY and ended up coming home to help on the farm where he stayed. The stories about my dad's life on the farm and the challenges my grandfather and grandmother faced. Today he looked around the room and said "Mom would've called this Wedgewood Blue." I thought about how my grandparents had been married for a billion years and died within two weeks of each other - without knowing the other had passed (although they obviously knew).

I realize this post is rambling and I am a little teary but it was wonderful to slow down today and really be present with my father. I am deeply grateful for his "stories" and for his guidance. I know I am lucky to have him. And dang he makes quick work of painting a room.

To deepen your connections to others and yourself I encourage you to listen. Slow down to be present to really hear the stories of the ones you love - your parents, sisters, partners, and kids.

 What a gift.

Usually my day starts with a child's voice waking me from my dreams demanding breakfast (although it sounds more like brahfest) but today my little elf wanted to snuggle. It was just the two of us and we just hung out talking, snuggling, and being silly. Every time a thought of my day or to do list crept in I nudged myself back to the moment - to his hands, smile, voice - to the experience. It was a beautiful way to start the day. Perhaps last night's Restorative Yoga helped too but have been calmer and more focused today. Hmmm.

PS Had an amazing night's sleep. If you struggle with sleep ever try Restorative Yoga.

In keeping with my scattered ungrounded mindset I realize I didn't really "name" my challenge and was able to do so today...a Mind Body Spirit Connection Challenge. And really I needed a name because I woke up thinking "what am I doing?"

This evening I found myself at a Restorative Yoga Class - one I've wanted to take for months but haven't found "time" to do so. So I showed up with my limited understand that it involved props, holding poses for a long time, and that it somehow involved engaging the parasympathetic nervous system.

Since nothing had held my attention for long than 2 minutes during the day (took care of 5 kids for half the day) I was a little nervous when the instructor said we would be holding some postures for 15 minutes. My "monkey mind" was more like a monkey on a three month meth binge and I wondered how I could escape from the back row. But I stayed...

And finally I was able to drop down into the experience. To get out of my head and settle into my breath. It felt good and a little overwhelming. How hard it is to get out of ones own way. But I do feel more centered and I will supposedly sleep better for the next two days too!

What would it look like if you pushed yourself outside of your comfort zone to experience a deeper mind body spirit connection?

I've just returned from co-facilitating a retreat with my fabulous mentor and friend at Kripalu. An amazing place. While doing yoga there the thought came into my mind "this feels like coming home." My yoga practiced has deteriorated to the point of an occasional child's pose often done in surrender to my kids desire to climb on my back. I have felt disconnected and ungrounded in the last few months (so do a lot of clients right now) and am inspired to challenge myself  for the next 30 days to connect with myself on a spiritual level...and to blog about here (yes I just committed - coaches are all about accountability). I need the challenge - to cultivate more awareness. So I will be slowing down to really connect with myself - through movement, creative expression, stillness, time outside, and really being present in my life - with my kids, my husband, my work, and other relationships. Feel free to join me and comment here.